Confidence, it can be a fickle friend, ebbing and flowing in your life, lacking when you seem to need it most. They say confidence can hide a multitude of things, but as someone who can personally relate to having many anxieties or hang ups, sometimes being confident is easier said than done. There are 2 things I try to live by, and I share these with many of the people in my life…
Firstly- you will never be as young as you are now in this very moment again.
Secondly- you only get one body in this lifetime so why waste so much time disliking aspects of it.
What do these mean I hear you asking in the back!! I’m not saying that youth or being youthful is a necessity to being confident, but it's far too easy for us to get hung up on the way we want to be, or how we want to be perceived that we don’t live in the right now. Most people I know will attest, it is much easier to ‘glow up’ when you are younger and have that bountiful supply of youthful energy, a metabolism that just won’t quit and absolutely no sign of any crow’s feet for your makeup to settle in. Yet I still have vivid memories of not feeling that confident in myself, and I think that was partially because I didn’t know myself enough or at least I wasn’t comfortable in my truth of who I am. Growing up gives you a funny gift that you wish you had in your youth, the more you age the less you stop giving a f*ck about things that previously caused you so much grief, ie. How others perceive you and how you perceive yourself. I mean have you met anyone in their 80’s who gives two hoots about the small stuff!! You and I both know that confidence or lack of confidence doesn’t just affect our self-image, it can also affect our self-worth or the ability to chase the things we want in life. So I’ve compiled a small list of things that I find help me boost my self-esteem when I need it most.
Instead of looking at what your body may not be, ask yourself what does my body allow me to do?? It may seem small, but that tiny change can completely alter the way you perceive yourself. For instance, instead of saying why don’t I have a legs a mile long, or why do I always look so tired I think “my body allows me to move about freely without pain, it allows me to do the things I want to do, and it allows me the ability to create things with my hands”. It doesn’t have to be body specific either, you can do it with any aspect of what you define as yourself or an extension of yourself, ie my face allows me to express my emotions or my home provides me with a safe space to unwind. Practising these small acts of self-gratitude has changed my perspective to be thankful for what I do have, versus upset by what I don’t.
I had a yoga teacher tell me once that when she feels absent from her body she just jumps and flails around for a bit until she feels like she’s present again. This was her ritual that allowed her to step in to a space with self-assurance and teach, which I can confirm you need a lot of bloody confidence to do!! Find something that you can do for yourself that is a reminder that once you’ve done it, it triggers that boost of self-assurance you need. It can be as simple as holding a power pose, reciting an affirmation to yourself or taking a few deep breaths to bring presence back in to your body and reconnect, or you know just jump around and flail, it works a treat too!!
Hahahaha world’s lamest tagline, but in all honesty, it bloody works!! Our whole being is a very complex well-oiled machine, that works its best when we take care of it. I’m not saying you need to be pumping iron and eating like you’re the next Arnie but find an activity that gets those endorphins moving and try to eat a wholesome, balanced array of foods. I know I personally feel my most confident when I’m regularly getting on my mat and eating every colour of the rainbow I can possibly get my hands on. I am in no way a nutrition or fitness expert so take this advice with a grain of salt (puns, haha), but in the very least next time you’re in a real funk, put on ‘Cassius’ by Foals and dance flat out for the full 3 minutes 50 it plays for, I guarantee you’ll be feeling the good shit that is endorphins after that!!
Seems kinda simple really, but I find the more self-care I practice the more confident I feel. Everyone’s idea of self-care is different, but for me I love baths!! They are my favourite way to unwind after a long week and the two years I lived in a house that didn’t have a bath killed me!! I use baths like a weekly ritual to do something that is purely just for me. That little bit of self-care makes me feel so fresh & sparkly that aspects of that have now become set in my daily routine. Dedicate a part of your week to doing something that is just taking care of you and then try to incorporate elements of that into your everyday life.
Not everyone is going to love you, and that’s ok, but you don’t have to take their opinions or comments on board. I know this is easier said than done, but if you show yourself respect, understanding, forgiveness and love it can be a lot easier to let those comments go. Stay grounded in your truth, speak to yourself the same way you speak to someone you love and take care of yourself both mentally and physically first so that you can not only show up for yourself, but you can show up & lift up those around you too. You know, straightening crooked crowns and what not!
If all else fails remember you are a bad ass b*itch, take a shot of some Dutch courage and just fake it until you make it!!
Until next time, 
stay sparkly dreamweavers xx
*Dutch courage to only be used in appropriate situations by legal adults
**Sorry for all the puns, clichés and proverbs in this post

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